Shopping for a Bathing Suit….

Here’s a lighthearted view of the torture, embarrassment and humiliation often endured on the search for a “Bathing Suit” that performs miracles……

“Having heard of the experiences of others that been through the pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit”

In the very early days of taking the water – knitted was definitely the only option and yes it did cover the parts that needed covering, when it was dry….. a very different story when wet!! Hanging gusset that by no stretch of the imagination provided a flattering fit, male or female alike!!! Skip a few years to the 1950’s and the bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure. Bones, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice. She can either, front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney’s Fantasia — or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands! What choice is there? Having wandered around forced to made a sensible choice and enter the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing noticeable is the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.

The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that, if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks! The reason for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

As battle begins and you’ve fought your way into the bathing suit and twanged the shoulder strap in place, it’s with a gasp of horror — as your bosom disappears! Eventually discovering that one bosom was cowering under your left armpit. it can take awhile to find the other. At last locating it flattened beside your seventh rib. The problem of course is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups!!!

The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed bump. Following the realignment of your speed bump and lurching toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately, it may only fit those bits that are willing to stay inside it. The remainder may ooze out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. feeling like a piece of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap. As you try to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the ever so helpful sales girl pops her head through the curtains, “Oh, there you are!” she says, admiring the bathing suit. Not feeling it’s quite right for you may reply, are there any different styles? Optimistically, she arrives with a cream crinkled one that resembled a lump of masking tape and a floral two-piece, which gave the appearance of an over-sized napkin in a serviette ring. As you struggle into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan’s Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. Following that a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. Next was a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg you would have to wax your eyebrows to wear them. Finally, there it was a suit that fit – a two-piece affair with shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and and hid a multitude of sins, it was definitely the least worst so grudgingly you buy it.

On arriving home and reading the label, which was 100% very small print!! said, ‘Material may become transparent in water.’

We hope you’ve had a little chuckle reading this, and we know that for many this torture is no longer a problem, for those still enduring…The Power of Yet!! There is plenty of time to get your Summer Body ready for your holidays summer-bodies all the more reasons to get focused now!!!!Focus Forward 10 Ways To Re-Focus.. if the thought of summer seems a million miles away we can help, just click on the many links. Better still….

Don’t let this be another year of wasted opportunities and regrets, Is it time to come and join us?

Would you rather….